Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Freedom - Is It Worth the Risk?

'And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.'  Anais Nin

Freedom is precious, freedom is beautiful. But it comes at a cost. Being free means owning our story, getting the help we need to unshackle ourselves from our fears and our pain, and sometimes, it means changing the course of our lives to obtain this invaluable rarity.

 I have been scared as long as I remember. Scared of spiders, scared of dying, scared of what people think of me. My choice basically boiled down to two options: Stay in the pain and fear but hold onto the security of not looking too deeply into those things, or face the terror of finding out why I had those fears and do what I needed to do be free of them. I chose the latter.

 In a nutshell, this has involved 3 years of regular counselling, 6 months of trauma counselling and a LOT of tears and anger. I am still a work in progress. But I have to tell you - once you get a taste of freedom, you never want to go back.

 There are moments now where I feel true enjoyment, true love and true assurance. I love Brene Brown's quote: “Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” 

If you stay in fear, I understand. If you choose freedom then I salute you!

 Annie x